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Boston Legal Quotes

Boston Legal, the best law show...and the funniest...

Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
 
Alan Shore: Y'know, we have a little saying here in Massachusettes...maybe some day you will get terribly sick and die...until then...
 
Alan Shore: Objection, your Honor. You can't preface your second point with "first of all."
 
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny Crane: Are you making fun of me?
 
Denny Crane: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic.
Alan Shore: [sarcastically] I'm stunned.
 
Denny Crane: You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."
 
Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost...pretend you've won! Works for our president.
 
Denny Crane: What's my name?
Mark Harrison: Denny Crane.
Denny Crane: Like you mean it!
Mark Harrison: Denny Crane!
Denny Crane: What's my name?!?
Mark Harrison: Denny Crane!!!
Denny Crane: No further questions.
 
Judge Harry Hingham: A ho-mo-sexual? That's where we're at now? Santa Clauses being played by ho-mo-sexuals?
Alan Shore: I believe "homosexual" is one word, judge. But to avoid confusion, let's say "gay".
 
Denny Crane: Massachusetts is a blue state. God has no place here.
 
Denny Crane: [combing through reporters] Denny Crane, Trix are for kids...Denny Crane, coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.
 
Denny Crane: I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load.
 
Denny Crane: It's okay; I'm an ex-Marine. I was a trained sniper. Or was I a pilot?
 
Denny Crane: It's been fun being me.
[pause]
Denny Crane: Is it fun being you?
Alan Shore: Most of the time.
 
Alan Shore: Ah, Denny, I've hardly seen you this episode.
 
Alan Shore: Let me tell me two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I do not play fair.
Lester Tremont: That's three things.
Alan Shore: See? Not playing fair already. And I'm just getting started.
 
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Donny Crane: Donny Crane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Donny Crane: Donny Crane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Donny Crane: Donny Crane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Donny Crane: Donny Crane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Donny Crane: Donny Crane.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.


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