Denny Crane: Denny Crane.

 

Alan Shore: Y'know, we have a little saying here in Massachusettes...maybe some day you will get terribly sick and die...until then...

 

Alan Shore: Objection, your Honor. You can't preface your second point with "first of all."

 

Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.

Denny Crane: Denny Crane.

Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.

Denny Crane: Are you making fun of me?

 

Denny Crane: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic.

Alan Shore: [sarcastically] I'm stunned.

 

Denny Crane: You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

 

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost...pretend you've won! Works for our president.

 

Denny Crane: What's my name?

Mark Harrison: Denny Crane.

Denny Crane: Like you mean it!

Mark Harrison: Denny Crane!

Denny Crane: What's my name?!?

Mark Harrison: Denny Crane!!!

Denny Crane: No further questions.

 

Judge Harry Hingham: A ho-mo-sexual? That's where we're at now? Santa Clauses being played by ho-mo-sexuals?

Alan Shore: I believe "homosexual" is one word, judge. But to avoid confusion, let's say "gay".

 

Denny Crane: Massachusetts is a blue state. God has no place here.

 

Denny Crane: [combing through reporters] Denny Crane, Trix are for kids...Denny Crane, coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.

 

 

Denny Crane: It's okay; I'm an ex-Marine. I was a trained sniper. Or was I a pilot?

 

Denny Crane: It's been fun being me.

Denny Crane: Is it fun being you?

Alan Shore: Most of the time.

 

Alan Shore: Ah, Denny, I've hardly seen you this episode.

 

Alan Shore: Let me tell me two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I do not play fair.

Lester Tremont: That's three things.

Alan Shore: See? Not playing fair already. And I'm just getting started.

 

Denny Crane: Denny Crane.